The Conversation

Triplet B: I'm serious. Stop moving around for just one minute.

Triplet C: Hold on! My arm is stuck over here against something.

Triplet B: Probably her spine. I swear if you move one more time, I'm going to kick you in the head.

Triplet A: Can you two shut up? She's watching The Office and that Dwight guy is funny.

Triplet C: I don't want to hear anything out of you "Mr. I have my own placenta all to myself."

Triplet A: Hey, we've been over this. Mother Nature. Luck of the Draw. Besides it's temporary. Another four and half months and we're outta here. Then Mr. Triplet A will finally be able to get my hands on both of you, and I'm telling you, it's going to get ugly.

Triplet B: If you think I'm hanging out and taking this thing full term you're out of your mind. I'm already tired of it. I get that we have to get big and viable, but at some point we are going to have to re-evaluate.

Triplet C: Of course we are going to get big. Imagine what she is going to look like. Wow. By the way, I sure wish they would come up with names for us. I really don't like the implications of being "Triplet C". The name automatically puts me third in line. It makes me feel like an underachiever or something.

Triplet B: Hey try being Triplet B. It sort of puts you in the middle. Middle children always have a rough go of it. Look at Peter and Jan Brady. They were always getting the shaft.

Triplet A: We will be the exact same age! By that way of thinking, I'm Triplet A. What are the expectations there? Am I the leader? Will I be expected to offer some sort of guidance? I don't need the pressure. However, I do think we need to stay inside here as long as possible. Give Dad a chance to get it together.

Triplet C: Oh...Dad....Wow...I always try and forget.

Triplet B: I on the other hand am really anxious to try this "BEER" stuff he goes on and on about. He seems industrious. Maybe he'll figure it out.

Triplet A: Don't get me wrong, I'm pulling for the old man, but the way I see it, he isn't exactly Donald Trump. We may be getting jobs early boys.

Triplet C: I tried to tell you! There was that nice couple in New York we could have gone with, but NO! You two wanted to live in Texas. They had a good 401K, the house was nicer, it wasn't so loud....

Triplet B: Whatever. Dad's a BBQ Master, and I'm really looking forward to the fun we can have with the old man. We may be broke, but he will be a fun Dad...when it's okay with Mom.

Triplet A: That's another thing. She's eating the same food all the time. Protein. Protein. Protein. How about a little variety? Would it kill her to change it up a bit?

Triplet B: For now I just want to sleep. Triplet C here snores too loud, and between him and that Dog, I really am not getting all the REM sleep I need. I can't wait to get out of here and get my own place. They ordered three cribs and one of them has "whatever my name is going to be" written all over it.

Triplet C: I just wish that would hurry up and decide on what color to paint our room. I mean, who cares? Just stay away from the weird animal and character themes. Did you hear them at the store the other day? They can't agree on anything. Baby stuff is so lame.

Triplet A: I agree, but I can feel the old man giving in. Lame is on the way.

Triplet B: Who cares? I don't care what they do. Feed me, make sure I'm clean, and leave me alone. I would like to be able to see the television from time to time. They better get me a bouncy seat with a drink holder. More than anything, I just don't want to ride around in mini-van. There will be no way to get chicks in a mini-van.

Triplet A: Mini-Vans are about as lame as they get. However, you have to consider gas mileage, ease of loading three kids, the dog, and not to mention there needs to be a TV in it. I'm pulling for the Suburban. We will get plenty of chicks in that. Plus triplets are adorable.

Triplet C: Who cares what they drive? I'm worried about the sonogram we have coming up, and I gotta say, I didn't really appreciate that punch in the face right when Mom and Dad were watching the last time.

Triplet A: That was funny.

Triplet C: Hey! It didn't happen to you. It happened to me, and it was embarrassing. It didn't hurt that much, Triplet B hits like a girl, but I really didn't feel like I deserved it. It was more degrading than anything. You're so violent.

Triplet B: Shut up or there's more where that one came from.

Triplet A: Hey! Listen up. She's yelling at someone on the phone. Wow! Our parents are a couple of hotheads. Have you heard the way Dad talks to people on the phone? Those are strangers. Imagine how he will talk to us when we screw up.

Triplet C: It could get rough. They both have very little patience.

Triplet A: It won't be long and the old man will be living vicariously through us. He'll make us play baseball, guitars, and try to live out all of his unfulfilled dreams by making us into major league baseball players with bands. I can't wait.

Triplet B: Personally, I just wish she would lay on the couch and watch Family Guy. I'll show them unmotivated. I'm going to be a drummer.

Triplet C: Whatever, just as long as we don't have to watch 16 and Pregnant. That show sucks. It portrays all of the fathers as deadbeats. Fine, I'm sure most 16 year old fathers are not all that responsible, but must television these days portray male figures in such a negative light? I don't thinks it's fair. All the shows on television portray the patriarch as an idiot.

Triplet B: You're an idiot.

Triplet A: Well, Mom and Dad both agree that we aren't going to be running around causing problems. The punishment they dole out will be swift and severe.

Triplet C: I'll call 911.

Triplet B: Good Luck.

Triplet A: Hold on Dad's got the headphones on her stomach again. I'm sure we are going to hear some more Guns 'n Roses.

Triplet B: I love it.

Triplet C: It does Rock.