The Big Man

God's Assistant: Hey.....um....hello....are you there?

God: Yes, I'm here. I just got back from Austin.

God's Assistant: You've been spending a lot of time there recently.

God: I know. I love it there. It's been a while since I really got to hang out in Austin. I went to Willie's 4th of July Picnic the other day. That was fun. Hung out on Willie's Bus. Nothings changed there let me tell ya.

God's Assistant: I haven't got to do anything this summer. I'm always in Temple at the hospital with the Triplets and their parents. I would have liked to have seen Willie too.

God: But remember what happened the last time you hung out on Willie's bus? You fell down on the way out.

God's Assistant: I thought I could handle it.

God: Maybe next time. I know you have been busy this summer. I appreciate all of your hard work. After they come back to Austin, you really need to come with me to Santa Rita and try their shrimp tacos. They have great margaritas there too. The other day I went there disguised as a UT Coed.

God's Assistant: I wouldn't know. Are those new sandals?

God: Yep, picked them up on South Congress at some shop. No big deal. Listen, I know you are spending a lot of time at that hospital with those boys, but we're getting ready to send them home. I think after that you and I should head down to South Padre for a while. I really want to get a closer look at the Gulf. Jesus turned water into wine, but I'm going to one up him and turn crude oil into beer. What you think of that?

God's Assistant: Sounds nice. Whenever you decide to send these boys home we can do whatever. I need a break. Those Krug parents are insane. I mean they are tightly wound. I pity anyone who messes with those kids. That woman is extremely protective of her cubs. I thought she was going to hit HIM in the mouth the other day.

God: Oh that's coming. Just wait. I think I may send the loud one home first. That Zane is quite the character. Let 'em have a couple of days with him and then send Cash and Cade home.

God's Assistant: They turned their dining room into some sort of weird triplet jungle play room with three bouncy seats and all types of baby stuff.

God: They are way into it aren't they.

God's Assistant: Oh yes.

God: That's good. What do you think of my new cowboy hat?

God's Assistant: I don't know if it really goes with the sandals.

God: That's how they do it in Texas. You go to these outdoor festivals and everyone is wearing flip flops and cowboy hats.

God's Assistant: That's weird.

God: It is weird. It's not how I intended, but hey who am I to question it?

God's Assistant: You're God, you can make them stop.

God: That would be me messing with free will and we both know I don't do that.

God's Assistant: True. Besides a few select artists, you have let them ruin country music.

God: There is still plenty of good music. By the way is J.C. still working on his pedal steel playing?

God's Assistant: J.C. is quite the pedal steel player. He's got a band with a bunch of guys. Hank Williams and that bunch.

God: Good! Can't wait to hear them.

God's Assistant: So....the boys all weigh around six pounds. Mom and Dad seem to be handling it all pretty good. I think they're ready.

God: Yep, they are ready. The boys will let them know when it's time.

God's Assistant: I know I'm ready.

God: As soon as it's over, your first beer is on me. Where's my IPOD? I'm going to San Antonio.

God's Assistant: You probably left it in the Escalade.