Cash, Zane, and Cade

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Frequently Asked Questions

Carrie and I decided to start this blog because we are very blessed with lots of friends and family. We realized right away that rather than update all of these people individually, it would be much easier if I wrote a blog. That's how this all started. Now it has taken on a life of its own. That's cool with us. How often do people you know have spontaneous triplets. According to the math, which I am not very good at, not very often. I realize now, that not a lot of people know much about us. We will eventually post a bio which will tell how we met and a little about us personally. For now, many have asked questions, and I will try to answer them in my own special way.

The number one question without a doubt is, Where you using fertility drugs?

The answer to this is No. This is why it is referred to as "spontaneous" or "natural". The fact is, after we were married, we decided to not worry about anything and let nature run its course. We both wanted children, but we didn't want to put pressure on the whole deal. The odds of us ending up with spontaneous triplets is around 1 in a million depending on which statistic you choose to believe. Besides, a guitar player and a booking agent shouldn't be messing around with fertility drugs. It's not like we are wading through cash around the house. Anyhow, there would probably be eight of them in there if we would have.

Do multiples run in any of your families?

Well, multiples always come from the female side of the family. Carrie's great grandmother was a twin. We didn't know this, and I guarantee you we would not have given much thought if we did. Having more than one kid at a time did not occur to us.

Do you want boys or girls?

We just want three healthy babies. I realize that this is the stock answer, but it is true. However, if my luck is any indication of things, we will end up with three girls. I will be swimming in estrogen around this place. If they look anything like their mother, I will need a shotgun and a network of security cameras to keep the boys away. I will be a nervous wreck. They will all gang up on me. Even the dog Tess is a girl. My brother once said after having two boys, "If you have two boys you only have to worry about two boys. If you have girls you have to worry about all the boys." I was a boy, and the parents of every single girl I ever met as a kid should have been terrified. So in advance...stay away from my house and my daughters.

What is your Twitter Account all about?

We created the Twitter Account to give daily quotes and updates via Twitter. I was twittering from the Doctor's Office the last time, and that was amusing, so I am going to continue. I try to tweet once a day, usually with a Carrie quote. This will really get fun the more we go to the Doctor and the more agitated she gets. Head over to our Twitter Page and Follow us.

Are you ready for all of this?

Absolutely not. In no way are we ready. I think that if we even had a glimpse of what was to come, we would be laying in the middle of the living room floor sobbing uncontrollably. We are doing everything we can to get ready. Apparently, babies care what color the walls are, and whether or not the office is cleaned out. They also care about the guest bedroom and whether or not the living room is painted. I have to admit that I am excited to start on the whole nursery thing. Right now that room is an absolute disaster. We need to get rid of an old record player, a king size mattress, another mattress with a box spring, and a computer monitor. They are all in good shape, so if anyone in Austin wants them, drop us a line.

Do you have family to help you?

Yes. Carrie's mother is moving in with us when Carrie has to go on bed rest. She was planning on moving to Texas anyway, and since we have this invasion going on, why not call for reinforcements? She and I get along great. I could not ask for a better mother-in-law. However, the antics that will be created by Carrie and her mother living together should make for some good blogging material. The dog and I are planning on wearing helmets and spending lots of time in the garage.

How is Carrie?

This has probably become the most frequently asked question. At this moment Carrie is 15 weeks along. She is getting bigger by the day, and she is extremely uncomfortable. Her back hurts and she has trouble sleeping, simply because she is uncomfortable. However, she rarely complains. During the first 12 weeks she was pretty sick, now it has settled into a routine of being tired and uncomfortable. We go for walks when she feels good and she is doing more now. I realize that during the third trimester things could get a little dicey around here. I have a separate AC unit to put in the bedroom. It will be summer in Austin, Texas and I will do my best to keep her comfortable. However the heat here during the summer can melt sidewalks, so I am sure a woman pregnant with triplets will live in a highly agitated state.

Will you post pictures?

Plenty have asked if we are going to post pictures of Carrie's belly. I doubt it. She is not comfortable with such things. As for sonogram pictures and pictures of the kids, we are kicking that one around. In my opinion, they haven't been able to tell us if they want their photos slapped all over the internet. Maybe they don't. If they are like their mother, then they don't want their picture everywhere. If they are like their father, then they want their picture in every place possible along with a link to their website and a some MP3s of their songs available. The issue of photos will be decided later, but I imagine there will be photos up on the blog very soon. These photos might be of me suffering from a head wound from being hit by a blunt object that a very agitated pregnant woman lobbed in my general direction.

Are you going to form a family band?

Whatever they want to do is cool with us. We will support them in whatever they choose to pursue. However, if they want to jam with the old man, the old man likes to jam.

Are you excited?

We are both extremely excited. Personally, I feel like I am getting ready to walk onstage in front of 100,000 adoring fans. It will probably be better than that.
Carrie is starting to feel them move. The Doctor said this would happen. We are very excited for when they all start kicking around. Carrie and I both feel that there is a reason that this is happening to us. We can handle it.

Finally, on a different note there are also many things that as a Dad, I am very excited to say. For instance:

"As long as you live under my roof, you can do it my way."

"If you don't like it, get a job and get your own house."

"Putting on a little show for the neighbors eh? Well, I'm gonna put on a little show of my own"

"Can you at least ACT like you care?"

"Yes, we can do that.....just don't tell your mother."

"You want me to pull over? Huh? Do you? I swear I'll pull this car over and come back there. I promise you don't want me to do that."

"If I have to come back in this room one more time....."

"So...tell me exactly why I should let you date my daughter. Yes, of course it's loaded. Just start talking."

"I may be an old man, but I swear it will take all three of you and then some to take me down. You better call some friends and bring a board."

"Oh! The old man don't know anything. You had it all figured out, and then this happened? I tried to tell you, but the old man is stupid. He doesn't know anything."

"Don't make me tell your mother. I will. I'll go get her right now. Then we'll see what happens."

"I told you not to touch it. But you had to go ahead and do it anyway. You just couldn't listen."

"Well, I guess you do make enough money to support your mother and I. Okay, just go ahead and make the check out to me."

and finally........

"I'm really proud that you are pitching for the Red Sox."

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Alphabet

The Doctor's Appointment on Friday morning went extremely well. Dr. Handcock was in the process of delivering another baby in another room, so he was in a bit of a hurry. As I have said before, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but he said that the woman was "crowning", and I of course knew exactly what that meant. Mainly because I watched "Knocked Up". So, he was in a bit of a hurry which was no big deal. He said that I had been overdoing it on how much I was making Carrie eat. He said we could back it down a bit. This made Carrie very happy.

Mike: Hey! You said 200 grams of protein and 4000 calories!

Dr. Handcock: Wow! Are you sure I said that?

Carrie: He did not say 4000 calories!

Mike: Well.....he said 200 grams!

Dr. Handcock: Well, 200 grams sounds right, but 4000 calories...I don't remember saying that.

Mike: Well....I may have read that 4000 part somewhere.....but the 200 thing you said.

Dr. Handcock: Probably, but it's fine. It's cool to back it down a bit. She is doing great. We don't need to see her eating that much.

Carrie gives me a dirty look.

Mike: Hey! It's not like I was feeding her that much because it was fun for me to watch!

Carrie: You can calm down about it now!

Dr. Handcock: Yes, we really need to watch your salt intake so that you don't develop high blood pressure.

Another thing to worry about.

Also, how does a man get in trouble for trying to do the right thing? Very easily.

The first time we went in saw the triplets, we were in shock. This time we had a month to digest the news. Seeing them for the second time was no less amazing than the first. This time the ultrasound was done right on her stomach. We watched the screen as he rolled the thing around and all the babies came into view one at a time. This time they were much larger...about 7 centimeters. They were all kicking and moving.

What a sight.

Three babies in your wife at the same time.

A bit of news, there is a membrane between the two babies that we had first thought were identical. They share the same placenta, but there is now this membrane between them. They can still be identical, but they might be fraternal. We don't know yet. This membrane is good news, because it will keep their umbilical cords from getting entangled.

The bottom line is, they are growing, doing great, and on their way.

I was telling the band about this on the way to the show that night.

Me: Man, it's just crazy. I see those babies, and I think WOW! They are counting on me. They are counting on me to take care of them.

Then Slim, he plays in the band with me, had a wise ass comment.

Slim: Hey, there's three of them. One of them is bound to know better.


After we saw the babies and determined that everything was good, I was thinking about how bad my brother and I were as kids. I thought about the things we had done, and they say you get paid back.

Three kids.

Paying me back.

I thought about the time that my brother Jason and I had tied up our baby sitter. She was actually the last baby sitter we ever had. I think I was around 6 or 7, which puts Jason at 3 or 4. This baby sitter had been through the war with us anyway, and was very hesitant to come over when Mom called her. I had put a butter knife in the blender one time when she was making my brother a vanilla shake. I was hoping that it would explode, and it did. All over the kitchen. She wasn't looking and I slipped it in there. When she turned it on, it exploded glass and ice cream all over. She screamed bloody murder and had to call her Mom to come over and help her get things under control. She was only about 12 or 13, and lived right next door to us. This way her Mom could run over when things got out of hand.

One night, she wasn't able to call her Mom.

My Dad had given Jason and I ropes for Christmas. Ropes like in lariats for roping calves ect. They were for kids, but they were still ropes. We practiced roping the fence posts in the front yard, and I'm sure one of the dogs fell prey to our roping antics. Anyhow, I got the bright idea that we should rope the baby sitter and tie her up. We had bunk beds in our bedroom, and I put Jason on the top bunk and told him to throw his rope around her when she came into the room. I set my rope with a large loop on the floor to get her legs.

Mike: Jason, scream as loud as you can and she will come running in here.

I was the big brother and at this point he always did what I said:


He was doing a great job. I got excited.

The babysitter came running into the bedroom.

It worked perfectly.

Jason dropped his loop around her body and pulled it tight.

I got both of her feet in mine and pulled.

I wrapped up her legs as many times as I could, and she slid along the wall, and down to the floor. Jason and I then wrapped her up tied our ropes together in as many knots as possible.

There was our baby sitter.

Hog tied on the floor.

Poor girl.

It was about this time that Mom and Dad came home.

I don't remember how long we had her tied up for, but it was long enough.

Mom and Dad never went anywhere again.

They couldn't get a baby sitter.

This was a memory I had after we left the Doctor's office.

What was I in for? I imagine that Carrie was no Angel. I wasn't a bad kid, but I was ornery. I mean very ornery.

These triplets are going to kill us. If they are ANYTHING like my brother and I we are in for a long haul.

There have to be some rules. We are going to have to draw hard lines. They are instantly going to have Carrie and I outnumbered.

I have come up with a way to teach them the alphabet, and also help them learn a few rules. I'm sure they will come up with all kinds of things that I will never think of, but I 'm going to try and stay one step ahead.

A is for ASPIRIN. Daddy needs to take this when it gets too loud. Mommy needs Excedrin.

B is for BASEBALL. Dad loves the Red Sox, so we are always quiet and good when the Red Sox are playing. We also love the Red Sox, even when they are playing Mommy's Cardinals.

C is for COCKTAILS. Daddy needs cocktails. At least two per day.

D is for DRIVING. We are always quiet and sit in our car seats quietly when Mommy or Daddy are driving. We don't ever try to drive the car out of the garage and bust out the back window of the Chevy Blazer. Ask Grandma what happens.

E is for E*TRADE. We need to learn to talk fast so that we can be the first triplets on an E*TRADE commercial.

F is for FAIR. Life is not fair. We know this is true and we don't complain. Otherwise we might have to paint Grandpa's entire shop with a two inch paint brush and waste a perfectly good summer.

G is for GOOD. We are good babies. Very good babies. Everyone is so amazed with how GOOD we are. Soon we will be good kids. We will never have to spend three days in "In School Suspension" for fighting. Ask Dad.

H is for HOUSE. This is where we live. We don't break things, kick holes in doors, start fires or try to kill a spider with a broom and break a bunch of expensive plates and get grounded for two weeks.

I is for INSURANCE. Daddy is stressed out about how much our Insurance costs. We are very healthy and we never need to go to the Doctor or Emergency room for using a hammer to beat on our big wheel and have it bounce up, splitting our head open, and have to get rushed to the hospital for stitches. Ask Uncle Jason.

J is for JOB. We need to get jobs. Jobs are good. It's never too soon to get a job. Ask Dad what happens when you have a thin resume and triplets on the way. Plan ahead.

K is for KRUG. It's a great last name, even if people always pronounce it wrong, including when Mommy and Daddy got married and when Daddy graduated from college. We won't ever hear it called out at the Travis County Jail or in open Court unless we are lawyers.

L is for LISTENING. We always listen to directions and do things right the first time. Otherwise we might have to go the farm and dig fence posts all day after we stayed out too late drinking beer.

M is for MONEY. Money does not grow on trees. To get money, we get JOBS. We won't need money to pay for the neighbors window that someone shot out with a pellet gun.

N is NIGHTTIME. Nighttime is when we go to sleep. We sleep all night long, and we never yell or wake up.


P is for POTTY TRAINED. We will be miracle babies and be Potty Trained in the first two days.

Q is for QUIET. Daddy likes Peace and Quiet. Especially at night and during baseball games. We are quiet babies.

R is for REST. Mommy needs her rest. We are always good when Mommy is resting. When Mommy doesn't get enough rest, things go very bad for Daddy.

S is for SANITY. Mom and Dad need alone time to keep their SANITY. We can't sleep in Mom and Dad's Bed. We stopped any action for the entire third trimester and this can't continue.

T is for TOGETHER. We always do things together for Mom and Dad's convenience. We never run off from the family at the Russell County Fair and get dragged back to the car by the ear.

U is for UN-AMERICAN. It is UN-AMERICAN do be a bad baby.

V is for VEHICLE. We understand that Mommy and Daddy had to get a very uncool vehicle because of us.

W is for WAITING. We always wait our turn. We never cut into the front of the line, get in a fist fight and have to miss recess for a week. Again, ask Dad.

X is for X RAY. X Rays are expensive. We never hit each other with bats and have to go to the emergency room for X Rays. We also never think we can jump off of the roof and use a trash bag as a parachute. This leads to X Rays.

Y is for YELLING. We try and do our best to keep Mommy from Yelling at Daddy. If Mommy is unhappy, then no one is happy.

Z is for ZERO. We will be in ZERO trouble if we call Mom and Dad for help. If we are 15 and we drink beer and call Dad for a ride, he will come get us and not say a single word. Just like Grandpa did.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Predictions and Dreams

I have always had fun trying to predict what a child was going to be before it was born, or these days, before the parents find out. I guessed right one time and wrong the other on my brother Jason's two boys. I have to hand it to him and his wife Sara. They waited until they were born on both of their kids before they found out.

Carrie and I do not have that type of patience.

We are going to find out as soon as we can. We put up a poll here so that people could vote on what they think we might have going on here. I do not want what I am about to say to sway anyone one way or the other. Vote your gut instinct. That's the point. You have to vibe these things out. Many people have already told us what they think, and these predictions are all over the map.

Now for my prediction. I am pretty sure that I am right. Actually, I'm positive. However, I have been wrong before, and will be a million more times in the future. So bear that in mind. My prediction is based on a dream. Since we found out that Carrie is pregnant I have had lots of dreams. I have had dreams that the baby came out and attacked me. Then I had a dream that she had a litter of kittens, and I was the only one that was shocked. The Doctors seemed to be expecting it. Anyhow, the following is the last dream I have had on the subject, and it took place about two weeks ago on a Sunday morning. I woke up around 7:00 a.m., and realized I didn't need to be up, so back to sleep I went. This is the dream I had:

I was laying in a hospital bed. I was aware of several things. First of all, I was in no pain. Second, I knew that I was 84 years old and it was my time. It was absolutely my time. The thought of questioning this fact never occurred to me. I felt very at ease.

On my right Carrie stood next to my bed. She was old, but she looked wonderful. Her hair was long and gray, but the eyes, her blue eyes were still there. They shined big, blue, bright, and very alive. She smiled down at me and never said a word.

On my left were three grown men. My boys. Two of them had light brown hair. They looked similar. The third boy stood closest to me, and his hair was darker. They all had their mother's eyes. Not quite as blue and intense, but they definitely had that gene. They were big, tall, and they had grown up strong. I looked at them, and felt very proud that they were mine.

I looked back at Carrie. Throughout the dream, her and I never spoke. We didn't have to. We couldn't. There is no word or phrase in any language that could have been used. It never occurred to me to speak. Speaking would have been wrong. The feeling between us was something that I kept going towards, but I could only feel it for a second. As soon as I would almost realize the full extent of it, I was forced away, like I wasn't prepared to handle it yet. My 84 year old mind could handle it, but not the 36 year old mind that was having the dream. It was like trying to catch all the rays of the sun at once, or trying to take in the beauty of all creation at one time. It was so overwhelming. Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and the word love seemed small compared to what that was.

I couldn't move my head. I could only move my eyes. I looked back at my boys. Somehow, I knew that my work was done. It was not a sad moment. It felt like a moment of absolute completion.

The boy farthest from me said "We were lucky to have our Dad with us for 48 years".

The second boy just smiled down at me.

The third boy, closest to me said "Go ahead Pop. We will take care of Mom. You know that you don't have to worry".

Carrie reached down and grabbed my right hand. She squeezed my hand and smiled. I saw the wedding ring I gave her so long before and only a moment ago.

Then I woke up.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mini Vans

When I met Carrie she was driving a 2002 Mitsubishi Diamante. I thought it was a fine car. It had leather interior, a decent stereo, seat warmers, an air system that I still don't understand, and with a V6 it had pretty good get up and go. She purchased this vehicle in 2005, and much to her chagrin it is still parked in our driveway.

Why? I'm a tightwad. As Carrie would say, "Your wallet is tighter than Bruce Jenner's face." In my 36 years I have owned exactly three personal vehicles that were mine. A 1991 Chevrolet Pick-Up that my Dad got me in 1991 when I was 17. The second, a 1995 GMC Van that the band toured in, and then I drove to 350,000 miles. I only got rid of it when I met Carrie. Why?

The windows wouldn't roll down.
There was a hole in the windshield on the passenger side from when a pipe went through it.
The A/C didn't work and the fan wouldn't even come on.
All the seats were ripped out.
It had gas spilled in it so many times that it smelled like the inside of a Texaco.
It leaked oil, transmission fluid, anti-freeze, power steering fluid, brake fluid, and windshield wiper fluid.
The carpet was completely soaked with oil and grease.
All the doors had no handles and you had to use vice grips to open the them, and I only had one set so you had to pass them around.
One wheel had fallen off at a 7-11 so the left side was torn up.
The entire inside of the van was filled with broken glass from various windows and windshields breaking.
Back Porch Mary hit a Mule Deer with it just south of Wichita, so the front end was bashed in.

Carrie would not ride in the van.

I remember one of the first times Carrie came to Austin and we were going to go somewhere. Before this, I drove her in the band's Dodge Sprinter which was funny cause it's like 30 feet long, or I used my buddy's pick-up. For some reason one day we had to go somewhere and the old van we affectionately referred to as "The Psycho-Billy Hellcat" was the only thing available.

Me: We'll just take the old van.

Carrie: That?

Me: Sure. Runs like a dream. Get in.

Carrie opens the door and whimpers a bit when she sees the broken glass, smells the gas and sees the hole in the windshield.

I fire it up and blue smoke blows out of the tail pipe. It hadn't exactly passed inspection in Texas in a while. We back it out of the driveway and head up the street. Now it was over 100 degrees out that day, and with the windows stuck in the up position, and no A/C, it was pretty rough in there.

We got around the block.

Carrie: Take me back! I'm not riding in here. Ever.

Me: Hey! This is my van. You will hurt her feelings.

Carrie: I don't care! Get me out of here.

I was a bit hurt. Looking back on it now, I am amazed she stuck around after seeing that van. I thought she might be impressed with my ability to maintain a vehicle and get so many miles out of it. Turns out this was not the case. She kept her promise and never even touched a door vice grip again.

So, I sold it for $750 to a father and son who installed carpet. I saw the son in Home Depot about two weeks after the sale and I thought he found me to shoot me. Turns out the old van was still running. That was a good van. I bet it's still going to this day.

I then bought another 1991 Chevrolet Pick-Up that I drive with pride.
It isn't exactly the color of my first one, but it's pretty sweet.

So, back to the 2002 Mitsubishi Diamante. Carrie has grown to hate it, and it has been a point of great contention in our marriage.When you drive it, it sounds like you are in a wind tunnel. Due to a design flaw the back windows don't seal up at all, and it's loud. On long trips we stuff paper towels into the cracks so that we can hear the radio. The shocks are all going bad on it, so it grinds when you drive it. The ball joints are shot, and I have to admit, it's going downhill. We have been car shopping at least six times in the past two years, and we have even been amazingly close to a new car.

Carrie wanted a Dodge Charger.

We went to the dealership and test drove a black one. I have to admit, it was sweet. It had a V8 Hemi in it, and when you touched the accelerator it took off the line like a drag car. The interior felt like the cockpit of an airplane. The navigation system was awesome. The chrome wheels and leather interior were cool too. We had given them the keys to the Diamante for the trade. The Charger was washed and parked right up front, ready for us to drive it home. This is where things went wrong.

They wouldn't give me the interest rate I wanted, so we walked. By walk I mean I left, and Carrie followed in a daze. We got back into the Diamante. Carrie could not believe it.

We drove home in silence.

When we got home, some words may or may not have been exchanged. It did not go well for me. I always lose arguments to her, and I never lose arguments to anyone else. I hate losing, but it's best to walk away from an angry woman. Always.

This is how I got out of that deal:

I walk into the bedroom after the smoke had cleared.

Me: Baby.

Me: Baby.

Carrie: What?

Me: You still want to have kids don't you? Do you think that a race car is a practical family vehicle?

The ice melts. The clouds part. I was right. Dodge Chargers with V8 engines and small back seats are not good practical family cars.

So, when we found out we were going to be parents we renewed our vehicle search. We have our beloved dog Tess who would need to ride in it, as well as room for a car seat and all the baby gear.

We looked at cool vehicles like the Chevrolet Traverse. Sweet vehicle. Looks cool, you can haul stuff. Awesome.

Then, Triplet Terror hit, and things changed.

I knew what was coming. I wasn't going to be the one to say it out loud. Not me. I am not a very smart man, but I knew better than to suggest this. I had remembered a time when we were sitting in traffic, and a soccer Mom was next to us in a Chrysler Town and Country.

Carrie: There is no way I'm ever driving a mini van.

Me: I know. They scare me.

We agreed. Mini Vans are uncool.

However, all the triplet people on the forums said the same thing. Sure, other vehicles were suggested, but if you were going to be driving around triplets, there was only one vehicle to use.

The Chrysler Town and Country Mini Van.

According to most of the people with triplets on the internet, this mini van was De Rigueur if you intended on traveling with your trio.

I kept my mouth shut and waited. Then one night she said it first.

Carrie: You know, I have been thinking. We are going to need a Mini Van.

Me:(mock surprise)Really? You think so? I thought you hated those.

Carrie: I do, but it seems to be the only practical way to go.

Carrie is a very smart girl. I knew she would get there. I just wasn't going to be the one to say it. Not for anything.

We went to the same Dodge dealer where we looked at the Charger. This time, we went to the mini van section and looked at the Chrysler Town and Country Mini Van.

They had some new ones with automatic doors, stow and go rear seating, DVD players, and over all, very nice vehicles.

They were still mini vans.

A guy came to help us.

Salesman: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, uh..we would like to look at some mini vans.

Salesman: That's a great choice.

He opened one up and we checked it out. Carrie sat up in the driver's seat.

Me: Hey! You look pretty good there!

Carrie: Shut UP! These are so dumb.

She was right. There is absolutely no way way to look cool in a mini van.

You can add three wheel motion like Ice Cube would do. No dice.

You could add chrome spinners, a lift kit, make the ass drop, tint the windows, put curb feelers on it.

Wouldn't work.

It's still a mini van.

I took my turn behind the driver's seat. Instantly it came into focus for me.

Three car seats strapped inside. Dog behind the driver's seat. Huge triplet stroller somehow wedged in back. Diaper bag with my testicles in it stowed behind the front passenger seat. Sponge Bob Square Pants playing on the DVD system. Me in my black leather jacket with my trucker cap on. People passing by would say:

Look at that poor bastard.

I jumped out.

Me: How much can you do one of these for? We have triplets coming.

Carrie: Is there a discount for that?

We took Tess and went into the dealership. They made a big deal about us, but they couldn't come up with a deal to make this tightwad happy.

So the search for the perfect mini van continues. I really haven't been looking that hard. I know they are out there. Mocking me. Mocking Carrie. Waiting for us. We have no choice and those vans know it.

I figure that it will be nice on date night, when we go out together far in the future after the triplets are born.

I can see it now. Cheerios everywhere. Stains on the seats.

Carrie: What's that smell?

Me: Someone threw up back there. Either a kid or the dog. I didn't have time to clean it up.

Carrie: That's terrible.

Me: Yep. I guess this means you don't want to park somewhere and do it in the backseat.




Me: No...Um Okay. Just checking.

No matter what van we drive or how uncool it is, Carrie and I will be the coolest triplet parents there is, and I will be the luckiest man on earth. Hopefully one day the triplets will understand that Mom and Dad sacrificed being cool so that they could ride around.

Who knows. We could change our mind and go with the Traverse. After all, does practical really count for that much?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Triplet Terror

They say that one new born infant baby uses around 12 diapers per day. If this is the case, and the average month has 30 days, then the first month will see 1080 diapers being used by a set of triplets.

1080 diapers.

36 diapers per day.

That's 1.5 diapers per hour, around the clock.

This is the kind of thing I sit around and think about. I also think about exactly how much 1080 diapers will cost. At a certain big box retailer that will remain anonymous, the cost of 156 diapers is $37.98. Okay, so we would need around 7 boxes in the first month.

$265.86 would be our cost.

If they keep that up for the first year, than our cost would be:

$3190.32 and that is before Sales Tax.

We have decided to use cloth diapers. WHAT?? Do you two have any idea what you are getting into?

Yes, I believe we do. After some research we found that they sell really cool cloth diapers with snaps on them so that you can expand them as the babies grow. The cost is around $700 for all the diapers we will need for the first three years, which is awesome. Carrie and I also do not want to put roughly 13,140 diapers in the Austin Landfill in the first year. Yes, we plan on having some disposable diapers on hand.

I am installing a diaper cleaning station in the garage of our house. We are putting in a huge industrial size sink and I imagine I will spend a lot of time at the "Diaper Cleaning Station". This should be interesting. I am known for having a very weak stomach. In the past, I have almost thrown up when people simply talk about dirty diapers. The mere mention of this sends me into a dry heaving fit and sometimes I actually do throw up. Here is another little fun fact. I have never actually changed a diaper. Never. Not one. I have held lots of babies. I enjoy holding babies. However, when I thought something might be up in the downtown section of said baby, I passed the baby back to Mom post haste.

Something tells me that I will not be able to avoid changing my fair share of the 1080 diapers each month. I also imagine that I will be the main man at the "Diaper Cleaning Station". It's cool. I have a stereo out there. I actually like being in the garage. People say that when it is your kid, changing and cleaning diapers is different. Things aren't so bad when it is your flesh and blood. I hope this is the case. I can imagine a scenario like this:

Carrie: So and So needs his or her diaper changed!!

Me: Okay. I am on it!

I go into the changing room and open up the diaper. I am so overwhelmed by how gross it is that I actually vomit on my on own child. This will not get me the "Father of the Year" Award that I am after. I really want to avoid vomiting on my own kids. It's at the top of my list.

I hope that the babies are patient with their old Dad at first.

There has been plenty of Triplet Terror around here. I like to call it Triplet Terror because it puts a nice bow on the package of severe anxiety that has been happening in this house. Before we found out about our Triplets, we figured life would change drastically, but with three it's a different ballgame.

$2400 is the average of what it would cost to put them in Day Care in Austin Texas each month. Before any fees and what not. The other thing is, you don't want them in day care during the first year according to most doctors. We don't want them there anyway, so we are going to have to figure something out. I know we will and everything is going to be great. We just have to get there.

So, you start thinking in Three's. Three cribs. Three car seats. The Triplet Stroller, which is a huge monstrosity. All these things come at you and if you think about them at the same time, you feel like you are going to pass out.

We do appreciate all the love and support we have been receiving from everyone in both of our families, all of our friends, and the Back Porch Mary Family. The reason we started this blog is to keep everyone up do date, because we realized how many people were interested in what was going on. The blog has taken on a life of its own. Feel free to pass the link to this on to anyone you feel might be interested. Thank you all again for you support.

Check back soon for Carrie and I shopping for vehicles.

200 Grams

200 Grams of Protein.

4000 Calories.

This is what a woman who is pregnant with triplets is required to eat everyday.

This is an absolutely insane amount of food.

I have become a protein expert. This is because I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. At least I have it to a degree. I'm trying to use it to my advantage when counting calories and grams of protein. When Dr. Handcock told us Carrie had to eat 200 grams of protein each day he might as well have said 2,000. I didn't know how much protein was in what.

I am an expert on Beer, Guitars, Scotch, Whiskey, and driving insane distances to play music. These are not huge sources of protein. In fact they are not known for their protein at all. So, we needed to learn fast.

Carrie did and continues to feel pretty bad. Her back hurts and she is constantly uncomfortable. Yesterday was 13 weeks. Today we are officially in the 2nd Trimester.

She has come to hate food. However, she eats it. Sometimes I get sick and feel full simply watching her eat. The thing is, everything you thought about food is out the window. While we are not perfect by any means, Carrie and I have always tried to eat healthy. When you are pregnant with triplets this is the wrong thing to do. You want high fat, high protein meals and lots of food in each meal. Here is what Carrie has to eat in a typical day.


4 Strips of Bacon
4 Eggs
2 Pieces of Toast
Shredded Cheese
1 16 ounce glass of milk
1 8 ounce glass of orange juice

According to my calculations, this gives us around 60 grams of protein. That's a really good start for the day. I am becoming pretty good at eggs over easy, which is what she can tolerate the best at this point. Sometimes we do breakfast tacos.

For lunch I send her off with:

1 Protein Shake
2 cups of yogurt with fruit
Either a sandwich or 2 wraps with Turkey and Cheese
Some crackers
A small container of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee Ravioli
Two bottles of water
12 ounces of orange juice

She tries to snack on several things throughout the day. Small amounts as frequently as possible.

At night she usually tries to eat 8 ounces of meat. Turkey is the best source of protein. Beef and Chicken are great. If she can do it, she often has another protein shake or a milk shake with the protein mix in it before she goes to bed.

Then we get up in the morning and do it all again.

I have to admit she is a real trooper about it. She does her best all the time and pretty much eats whatever I give her.

Gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but I would say that at 13 weeks, she is probably at as far along as a woman is at 18 weeks who is pregnant with 1 kid. With triplets everything just happens faster. Her skin is really dry even though she drinks 5 or 6 16 ounce bottles of water everyday. Plus she is drinking at a minimum of 40 ounces of milk. Those babies literally take everything.

Last night we were watching a movie and she was highly agitated. She kept apologizing and telling me it's not my fault. She just can't get comfortable. We have a new bed on the way, and I hope that helps.

We are both looking forward to the next Doctor's Appointment on February 19th. We will get to see the babies again and figure out if she is getting enough protein after they do the analysis.

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Stay Tuned.

Monday, February 8, 2010


January 22nd 2010 is a day that will live in infamy. I got up and it was cold and windy. Maybe just windy. I don't remember. This day is sort of a blur. Our appointment was scheduled for 1:30 p.m. Carrie was very nervous. I was very nervous also, but I tried not to show it.

Would they find a heartbeat?

Was the baby healthy?

Was everything okay?

We drove to the appointment and tried to talk about other things. Carrie was also nervous because this would be her first time with a male gynecologist.

We got to the office and waited to meet with Dr. Handcock.

Yep. Handcock.

Carrie and I waited in the exam room. She was very very nervous now. I tried to make jokes. They weren't funny. She said so.

The Doctor came in and what a cool guy he was. He instantly felt like a good buddy. He told us that we would chat for a bit, and then do the exam. Turns out he was from a very small town in South Dakota that our band had driven through. He was very surprised that I knew where it was. The place is a hell hole. I'm sure he is glad that he is a Doctor in Austin and doesn't have to live there.

Anyhow, after some small talk, Carrie told him how nervous she was that the baby was okay and that she was worried things would not work out. He told her to think positive.

He left the room and Carrie put on the gown. I helped and I have to admit now, that I was nervous. I had never gotten anyone pregnant before. At least no one had come forward. Carrie had never been pregnant. This was new territory.

The Doctor came back in with a nurse, some rubber gloves, and a big machine. This exam was going down.

I stood next to table as they put her feet in the stirrups. The doctor began the exam.

Doctor Handcock: Your Uterus is enlarged. Very large for this early in the pregnancy.

Carrie: What's that mean?

Doctor Handcock: That's good! It probably means that your baby is healthy and growing nicely.

Me: Hear that? No need to worry.

Carrie Smiles.

I look at the Doctor who gives me a very strange look. Strange for a man that has his hand inside your wife. The look is one of curiosity and wonder. I remember it now. He knew something was up right then. Uterus. Large. Abnormally Large.

They then get out a rod and put a condom on it. I make a condom joke. No one laughs.

The rod is then inserted into the wife and the baby search is on.

Instant Baby.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!

I see the baby on the screen, and see and hear the heartbeat.

I look at Carrie.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!

Dr. Handcock: Hold on! I have a second baby.....and hold on LOOK HERE!!! I have a THIRD!!!

Houston we have a problem.

Total physical and mental paralysis.

What you talkin' bout Willis?

Dr. Handcock: Spontaneous Triplets!! I have never seen it.





Nurse: What do you think?

Mike: F$#&!!!

That's right. I said it.

Dr. Handcock: Are you okay?



The doctor left the room to go and get other people to come and look. Carrie is laying there with a rod inside her on a table and people are coming and going, totally amazed.

I instantly become a very concerned father.

Me: How are they?

Dr. Handcock: They are perfect! They are fine!

Me: Show me each one.

He moves from one baby to another. I see each heartbeat.

Dr. Handcock: I can see this third one's heartbeat, but I can't hear it.

Me: Hear it! Find it!

Dr. Handcock: There it is!

He goes back and forth as we see each baby and each heartbeat. Two of them are in the same sack. Identical babies. The third is in a sack on it's own. Two eggs were fertilized and one split. The odds are 1 in a million.

I am overwhelmed. Carrie is overwhelmed.

I look at my girl. I have loved her from the moment I saw her, but she looks different now. I wanted to do so many things. I wanted to build a shield around her to protect her and the babies. I wanted to donate something to charity. I wanted to rush out and make the world a better place for them.

How was it going to work?

Why us?

Carrie got dressed and we actually gave each other a high five as she came out of the bathroom. The nurses' station was filled with people. Triplets happen a lot when fertility drugs are used, but natural or spontaneous triplets are very rare.

We are baby making ROCK STARS!

The doctor takes us back into the exam room and we sit down.

High Risk Pregnancy.

200 Grams of Protein.


Eat right.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

We can't move. We are stunned. He tells us that many people wait until after the 13th week before telling anyone.

We don't make it out of the building before we are both on our cell phones.

Three babies.


Coming soon.


Carrie had been acting particularly crazy. When we met on July 1st, 2007 I knew that I had a very "spirited" woman on my hands. However, she was my type of crazy and I hoped from the moment we met that I would be dealing with her brand of crazy for the rest of my life. Since we met, we had done everything with the pedal down, never tapping the brakes. She moved to Austin from Illinois in September of 2007. She had her own apartment, but we never spent a night apart. We moved in together in January of 2008, we where engaged in March of that same year, and married on June 1st, 2009 in an awesome Texas wedding with countless friends and lots of booze and BBQ in attendance.

I learned quickly with Carrie that there were certain times that I needed to just keep my head down. Name, rank, and serial number were all that was required. Often times it was best to just go outside and play fetch with the dog. The only problem I could foresee is that we were both hotheads. I had been known to flip out and totally lose it on many occasions. I have no fear of confrontation. Some say that I welcome it. However, with my wife this all changed. She had the ability to completely render me speechless. I learned that I had met my match. Confrontations with her never ended well for me.

December of 2009 was not shaping up to be our best month together. We argued frequently, and I felt like I was simply in the way of some sort of master Carrie plan that I was not involved in. We made it through Christmas. All through that month I found myself singing "If We Make it Through December" by Merle Haggard. On New Year's Eve my band was playing at the House of Blues in Houston. Carrie drove to the show separately. We had to head to Oklahoma the next day and she was going to head back to Austin. I was excited. A New Year was a new start. I was hoping that we could figure out what had been making her so agitated, sick, and generally in a bad mood. She showed up to the venue and looked stunning, as she usually does. We played the show and then we just had a great time with our friends. Before the party really kicked in, Carrie told me she was sorry for how she had been acting. She didn't know what was wrong, but she wanted to let me know how much she loved me and thanked me for being patient with her. I almost cried. I felt such hope. I told her we would figure out why she had been sick in the morning, in a bad mood, and tired all the time. We would figure it out. Why could this be? What was the deal? As you can tell, I am very very slow. Painfully slow. It was right there in front of us. Oh well. We kicked the party up several notches and had the best time we had had in a long time. The next morning I left very early for Oklahoma. Carrie was still sleeping in the motel bed when I kissed her goodbye.

The next day was New Year's Day, and we talked several times. I was looking forward to getting home on Saturday the 2nd and doing some work around the house and yard. Carrie had planned to start cleaning out the kitchen cabinets and we were planning on remodeling the whole house one room at a time. I had been in the backyard for a few minutes when she came outside.

Carrie: I'm really tired. I slept all night, but I can barely stay awake. I was working in the kitchen and I just have no energy.

Me: We have to figure out what's going on. This has been going on for a while. You can't live like this.

Carrie: I know! I just need to lay down for a while.

Me: Okay.

Carrie: Hold on! I could be pregnant.

Record Screeches to a Halt.

Everything comes into focus.

Ton of Bricks.

Hit me.


Me: Oh. Oh my word.

Carrie: That would explain it.

Now, here it is. We both wanted to have children. We had decided that after we were married we would just let whatever happened, happen. We weren't trying, but we weren't taking any precautions.

Me: Damn. I'll go get some tests.

I jump into the pickup and head to the pharmacy for two pregnancy tests. Clear. Blue. Easy.

I went back home and put them on the end table.

Me: Take one of these.

Carrie: But I just went pee.

Me: Well, wait until you have to.

I went back outside, but my mind couldn't focus on anything. I would start one project and then stop in the middle and start something else. My mind raced. This made perfect sense.

The mower wouldn't start.

Bad spark plug.

Head to Auto Parts Store for Spark Plug.

Standing in Spark Plug Aisle. Not really able to focus on anything.

Phone Rings.

It's Carrie.

Me: Hello there.

Carrie: I'm Pregnant. (crying)




Carrie: Well....

Me: What do you want me to say?

This was not the thing to say, and was the first of many many things that I said and did wrong in the next 72 hours.

Me: I'll be right home.

I left the store and went straight home. I ran into the bathroom. Yep. Pregnant.

We waited a while and she took another.


Should have seen this coming. The signs were ALL there.

I laid in the living room floor for a while. We talked a lot about things. We were both stunned, excited, and scared at the same time. If we only knew what was in store.

Carrie and I have done several smart things in our time together and one was when she became self employed, we bought her a really good health insurance policy with Scott & White, which is a Texas based insurance company that has a brand new facility just North of Austin in Round Rock. Carrie called her Doctor on Monday and made an appointment for Tuesday January 5th.

We were both very nervous when we went to the hospital for the first time. We went into the office and Carrie was quickly taken away, apparently for a urine test. Neither one of us knew that they were giving her a pregnancy test. I am not sure why we were both so slow with this whole thing. Anyhow, a very nice nurse or something took us into an office.

Nurse or Something: Well, Congratulations!

Me: For what?

Nurse or Something: We have a positive test.

This just added to the "Mike Saying the Wrong Thing" list.

Carrie starts to cry. I wasn't sure if it was because she was happy or the thought of actually carrying my child made her cry. Then it occurred to her. She had partied really hard on New Year's Eve.

Carrie: Oh MY GOD!! I drank on New Year's Eve.

She instantly felt like a horrible mother. I rubbed it in.

Me: On Christmas too. You drank Jim Beam at your Dad's.

The nurse or whatever came to everyone's rescue.

Nurse or Whatever: It's no big deal. It happens all the time. Don't worry about it. Alcohol is often the cause of the pregnancy. Just make sure you stop right now.

Carrie quit drinking on the spot.

We listened to the instructions of the nurse or whatever, made several appointments, and took off. The nurse or whatever told us that it was often best to wait until the end of the 1st trimester to tell anyone.

We didn't make it out of the parking lot.

We were both very excited at the prospect of becoming parents.

Our families were very excited. We had to wait until January 22nd to go the the "heartbeat" appointment and have the first sonogram.

That seemed like a long way off.