Bustin' Out

The boys have been home for quite a while now, and we have settled into a pretty good routine. Over the course of the last month we have come to realize several things. First and foremost, it's not as difficult as we were warned it would be. In fact, I think we had it built up in our minds so much that the fear of having our boys home and taking care of them was worse than the reality of it. Second, we were told by several people that we were completely out of our minds to use cloth diapers. I'm here to tell you that the Bum Genius cloth diapers that we use are awesome. It's really no big deal. We go through about 21-24 per day, and once a day they all get washed. Finally, I must add that I believe we are doing well because we are too ignorant to know any different. We have no other children, so we had no expectations. We just have three, and that's how it is. Carrie and I can't imagine not having three. I get a overwhelmed at times, but it's still the coolest thing I have been around.

Carrie and I made a vow that the boys weren't going to keep us from getting out and doing stuff. This week was when we decided that we would start getting them out of the house and taking the triplet stroller for a spin. Our first outing was to Guitar Center. I needed some strings and stuff, and Carrie and I thought it would be cool to take them out of the house for a quick trip to Guitar Center and maybe to get something to eat. Right away I realized how unique our little band happens to be. We have had plenty of time to get used to the idea of triplets, but the rest of the world is a little surprised by them. It doesn't help that you walk around pushing this:


Nothing says, "Look over here at us!!!" quite like a triplet stroller. This picture was taken today when we made a trip to Garden Ridge. That's my foot you see in the photo. This monstrosity is over six feet long. Look at the tires on the thing. Our first stop at Guitar Center went well. People were pretty cool there. We caught a few stares and got a few questions, but no big deal. Next we decided to run into Firehouse Subs to get a couple of sandwiches to go. We rolled in, and the place was full of the Friday lunch crowd. When we walked in, the place went instantly silent. Someone said "Oh My God!" Nice. We weren't there to hold the place up, but you would have thought that Carrie and I each had a sub machine gun and the boys each had a ski mask on. We soldiered on, ordered our sandwiches, and left. A nice lady who claimed to have twins came up to look at the boys. This was a pretty good glimpse into how our lives are going to be.

Today, we went to Garden Ridge and I was more prepared. There were a lot more stares and a lot more questions. I have learned that as long as you keep the stroller moving, the boys are cool. Stop and you are going to be met with some sort of argument from one of them. I was pushing the stroller around and letting Carrie shop a bit and several ladies came up with their kids to look at the boys and talk to me.

Lady 1: You have your hands full!

Me: I beg your pardon, I'm not holding anything.

Lady 1: (confused but trying to make conversation) How old are they?

Me: The car seats are brand new. A nice couple gave us the stroller. It's new too.

A few minutes later another lady approached.

Lady 2: Wow. Triplets. Are you just tired all the time?

Me: No, it's not bad. I make my wife do all the work.

A third lady approached with two young children.

Lady 3: (to her kid) Look at that!

Lady 3: Do they keep you up all night?

Me: I'm usually so drunk I can't hear them.

Lady 3: (trying to rally) What are they?

Me: They are babies.

None of the stares or questions are going to keep us from getting the boys out and seeing the world they live in. They do great in the car, and they do great in the stroller. I'm sure that I will totally flip out on someone who tries to touch them, and Carrie will have to calm me down. I hope I can avoid going to jail. I can see the headline:

TRIPLET DAD GOES CRAZY AT HOME DEPOT

At the end of the day, they are the most fascinating little creatures on earth. Sometimes they just like to sit up and check things out. In this next photo they are totally interested in what they are looking at. They seem to be yearning for knowledge, and whatever has captured their attention is full of the knowledge in which they seek. Look at how attentive they are. They seem to have questions about the meaning of life, history, art, science, politics, and religion. Their desire to learn is astounding. They want to drink from the fountain of information that has them so enamored.





What could possibly hold their attention in such a manner?




That's right.




You guessed it.






The old man is pretty fascinating. One thing that's pretty cool is that they love music. Put on some tunes and everybody gets happy. They love The Bottle Rockets, which is an awesome band out of Festus, Missouri. In fact, I have a Bottle Rockets shirt on right here. They also love this CD that my buddy Brandon Clark sent them of Lullaby Led Zeppelin tunes.

Tomorrow is bath day. Bath day is pretty exciting.





The success we are having is not possible without the help of both sides of the family. Our family and friends are amazing people. Here is a picture of the boys with their Uncle Chad, whom Zane Chad is named after.


Finally we have what seems to always be going on around here which is feeding time. Feeding time always just got finished and is just about to happen again. If you are late with a bottle, you are going to hear about it. The boys tend to get a little bossy if they aren't instantly served up a bottle at the proper temperature.


As of this moment all is quiet in the house. Mom and babies are all sleeping soundly. Everyone is happy.

I have to say that things are....yep...things are Perfect.

Brothers

Cade: WWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWAAA!!!!

Cash: Would you shut up?

Cade: WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Zane: Seriously. Shut up.

Cade: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Zane: Okay, I'll scream with you. WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Cash: I personally won't dignify this. They aren't coming in here.

Cade: If I yell long enough, they might.

Cash: And do what? Check to see if one of us has spit up, and then they're gone.

Cade: She might rock me to sleep, and I'm really tired of doing all the yelling around here.

Cash: Hey now...that's not fair. I did plenty of yelling the day before yesterday.

Cade: Whatever. I do more than my share, and go ahead and try and tell me that I haven't gotten us fed earlier than normal on occasion.

Zane: Yippee. Formula. That's awesome. Thanks for the formula bro. I really appreciate it. It smells bad and tastes worse. I don't get why you're so excited to eat all the time. All weekend they are eating Bar-B-Que, Gumbo, Steaks, and knocking back the beers and all we get is formula. Even Tess got some brisket.

Cade: Hey, it beats laying here. Besides those stupid bouncy seats only play two songs and then the sound of the ocean or whatever. The first song is that insipid "Go to sleep little baby", and the next one sounds like it was on "Top Gun", but I don' think it was. It's a cheap knock off of a "Top Gun" style song. Half the reason I lay in that thing and scream is because I want some better tunes.

Zane: Well, we're in bed now, and you know as soon as Mom even starts to fall asleep Dad shuts off the baby monitor. They run a fan in the room specifically to drown us out, and Dad is half deaf from playing guitar anyway. I enjoy screaming as much as the next baby, but at night it doesn't do any good. It's best to go to sleep and wait for the 3:00 am.

Cash: I agree, and you know this whole putting us the same crib is fine, but if you're going to yell all night I'm going to try and figure out how to let them know I need my own space.

Cade: I'll shut up for now, but the first sign of anything weird, I'm screaming bloody murder.

Zane: Oh..we know. You're right beside me.

God: Hey Boys!! How are my favorite triplets?

Zane: Hey it's God! He came to visit us.

Cade: Sweet!

Cash: Hey God, what's up?

God: Oh, I was just in town to see how hot it actually was here. Apparently somebody messed with the thermostat in Texas and it got stuck on 109 degrees. I'm not sure who it was, but I'm pretty sure Moses did it.

Zane: We wouldn't know. We don't get out much. However, Dad sweats like a pig. He came inside the other day, and when he picked me up I threw up on him.

God: Patience my boy. Patience. You'll get outside soon enough. Before you know it you'll be paying your own bills and changing your Dad's diapers.

Cade: Have you met our Mom? She didn't really have any patience to pass down to us.

God: She did skip that line back at the assembly plant.

Cash: Dad isn't much better.

God: No, he isn't. They were made for each other and now they have you. How do you like it so far?

Cash: Well, everyone has an IPHONE but us. We don't get to use the remote. Dad only watches baseball, and the other day they put me in my bouncy seat facing AWAY from the television and I missed the Red Sox walk off win in the bottom of the 11th.

Zane: There aren't that many girls around here. We've only met one that was any where near our age, and she tried to eat the dog food.

Cade: I thought she was hot.

Cash: Hot or not, she's only been over twice and she didn't even talk to us.

Cade: She talked to me.

Zane: Keep dreaming there screamer.

God: Listen boys, I say you ramp up the screaming. Scream when nothing is wrong. Scream when it makes no sense and scream when it does make sense. It's best to keep them guessing.

Cash: We had them reading out of a book earlier tonight. They can't figure out how much or how often to feed us. It's pretty funny.

God: Good! Drive them nuts. They really do love you guys, and at this point you can really do no wrong. You can sleep whenever you want. You eat all the time, and you don't have to have a job. It's like club med for free loaders.

Cade: You're right God. At the end of the day, it's a pretty easy gig being a Krug Triplet.

Zane: By the way God, that's a really nice jacket.

God: Thanks! Do you like it?

Cash: I don't know if the lime green jacket goes with the camouflage shorts.

Cade: The Chuck Taylor's you're wearing are nice. We each have our own pair. Haven't worn them yet. Mom's holding out on the Chucks.

God: Boys I hate to run off, but I'm off to have some Sushi and see Jimmie Vaughn at Antone's. I'll drop by from time to time, but don't expect to see me much until we get this heat thing figured out. I'm just in town for tonight. Tomorrow is going to be rough.

Cash: We appreciate you stopping by.

Zane: Hey God. What are you driving?

God: The Gran Tarino boys.

Cade: Sweet. Rev it up for us on your way down the block.

God: Will do. Now get back to screaming.


EDITOR'S NOTE:

Remember back in June when we launched the campaign to help my buddy Paul open for his favorite band KISS? If not, head back to June and read the "Is it Possible?" blog. We are in the last week of voting, and the band has slipped to number 6. They need to be in the Top 5. If you have already voted, you can vote again. Please help a little boy's dream to come true.

1. Click on "Demand It!"

2. Follow the instructions.

3. Enter Your E-Mail and click to make sure you won't receive the newsletter they offer

4. Once you receive the confirmation e-mail, then open it to confirm your vote for Podunk.

You won't receive any SPAM or anything like that. Imagine how cool it will be for him to rock out onstage right before KISS. We just need everyone who comes here to vote. It will just take a second. Every vote from everywhere counts. You don't have to be from or living in Houston. Have your friends vote. All you need is an e-mail address. The icon is right below. Go ahead.

View all Podunk tour dates

A Screaming Contest

There is nothing better to distract you from the Texas heat than three screaming babies. Usually, they take turns, and we never have more than one baby screaming at once. Normally, it's pretty easy to get them to stop. A pacifier instantly quiets them most of the time. Every now and then, you have to go with the pacifier/swing combination. We have also found that the Pack and Play is their favorite place. Thank you very much to our friends from New Braunfels for making that lovely donation to the cause. Carrie and I often remark at how lucky we are to have such quiet well behaved babies.

This all changed yesterday.

Yesterday, there was no stopping anyone from screaming. I couldn't believe it. You would have thought they were being tortured. It didn't matter what we did or where we put them, they screamed bloody murder at the top of their lungs. Carrie and I had no idea what to do.

Mike: What's the matter with them?

Carrie: I have no idea.

Mike: They are clean, they just got fed, and they burped. What the story?

Carrie: Are they hot?

Mike: Let's take someone's temperature.

We took Cade's temp. 98.4 is pretty normal.

Mike: I wish they would stop.

Carrie: Me too.

Mike: I'm starting to think that they are just bad people.

Carrie: They might be.

Mike: I'm serious. They might just be real jerks, and we are just finding out about it. We haven't known them that long.

When all else failed, and the screaming contest was at its loudest I decided to join them.

I stood in the middle of the living room and started screaming too.

"If it's a screaming contest you want babies, I will give you more than you can handle."

I screamed as loud as I could for quite a while. This caused the dog to start barking. However, the sound coming from the babies was drowning us out, and Tess and I were losing badly. I turned up the volume and started screaming more. I wasn't going to give up. I decided to jump up and down while screaming. I'm not sure why, but this got Tess even more into the contest. She was barking pretty good, and I was yelling continuously. The babies sensed they were being challenged, and the kicked their volume up a bit. Eventually, Tess and I collapsed on the couch thoroughly beaten be three eight pound babies.

The boys celebrated their victory in the screaming contest by taking a victory scream lap that lasted about two hours.

Mom was not having any fun.

Eventually, after their 10:30 feeding during which Dad lost an argument with Mom in the third round, they calmed down. Mom and Dad's nerves were shot.

I hope today is better. The boys are eating a lot and we can't believe how much they have grown just in the last week. This goes so fast. I just went and looked at them while they are sleeping and it occurred to me it won't be long before they gang up on me and beat me into submission. It won't take much.



This is the boys in the Pack and Play Unit. They love it. Yes, we know babies aren't supposed to sleep on their stomachs. Yes, we are right there watching the whole time. No, they don't sleep like this at night.



This photo is from the night I learned to feed all of them at once. Yes, I am paying close attention to make sure they don't choke. You are right, it might not be a good idea, but come over for a pre-feeding screaming concert and you would do the same thing.



This is the boys in their bouncy seats enjoying their pacifiers. Note how they all put their left hands in the same location, and turn their heads the exact same way. Anyone know which baby is which? Me neither.

Bad Father

I'm starting to think I'm a bad father. It's pretty obvious. Right now I'm staring at a computer screen and listening to the boys scream on the baby monitor. What did people do before baby monitors? Did they just put their babies in bed, close the door, and hope for the best? Maybe, back in the day, closing the door was how people coped with the insanity. In these modern times, we pipe their cries to wherever we happen to be. Baby monitors broadcast your babies cries all night long. All the yelling. All the time. Our particular baby monitor has a volume control that runs from one to five. I usually keep it on five. Okay, maybe four. Fine, it's on three most of the time during my shift. If I turn it below three, I believe child protective services will kick down my front door and take them away. I have turned it completely off. I admit it. However, our monitor has five lights on the top of it. I refer to it as the "Scream-O-Meter". When it's completely off, you can still watch the lights for activity. I know this is bad and I'm a horrible father, but I do it anyway. When they are just fussing a bit, only one light lights up. When they really get rowdy and join in a hallelujah chorus of screams then the meter ramps up to five. They can peg the thing on five and leave it there for quite a while. At this moment, they are barely lighting up the first light, and it happens to be Cash. They take turns being the problem child. Tonight just happens to be Cash's night. They rarely all go off at once. In fact, they are very good babies in general. We got really lucky.

Here is reason number two why I'm a bad father. Right before I change a diaper, I secretly wish upon a star, that it's not a dirty diaper. You know, unzip or unsnap the little onesie. Remove one piece of tape. Remove the second piece of tape. Slowly pull the diaper back. Find out what you've won. I secretly hope that I don't get the bad diapers. I don't wish them on anyone else, and I really don't mind that much, but I would just rather they used the toilet.

I also must admit that when one baby won' t finish his bottle, and another is still hungry, I just stick the leftover bottle in the hungry baby's mouth. That has to be bad on some level.

I let them scream. If I know they are fed and clean, I let them scream themselves to sleep. I am trying to get used to the screaming. My first instinct is to knock down the door, pick them up, and make it all better. The fact is, a lot of times, I'm too tired for this. They calm down after a while anyway. Besides, I'm their father so they need to get used to disappointment.

We have settled into a really good routine here at the house. Here is our latest feeding schedule and who actually takes care of these feeds.


7:30 AM - I start this one and then Carrie's Mother Ethel takes over.
10:30 AM - Carrie and Ethel
1:30 PM - Carrie and Ethel
4:30 PM - Carrie and Ethel and I come in at the tail end.
7:30 PM - Carrie and I
10:30 PM - Usually just me, but apparently Carrie is helping tonight.
3:00 AM - Carrie

Repeat

Looking at the schedule, it's obvious that I'm really not hitting the mark and there is no real chance of me wining "Father of the Year". I must say that this schedule is during the week. This past weekend I was pretty heavily involved. I try really hard, but bottle feedings are rough. You have to make sure the baby is awake, breathing, and actually getting formula in its mouth rather than just all over the bib or burp rag. Then after that, you have to burp them or they will just spit up all over the crib or one of their brothers. The other day I was watching the Red Sox, surfing the internet, and trying to burp a baby all at once. The baby's mother was not impressed with my multitasking. I had to give her a serious listening to.

I couldn't drink formula. You shouldn't give your children anything you wouldn't eat or drink, and formula smells bad and tastes worse. I tried it, and it just sucks. This also makes me a bad Dad. I mean formula is just nasty. I tried breast milk too, and that wasn't bad. No, I didn't get it directly from the source, but I tried.

Okay, the final reason that I am a bad father is because I can't tell my boys apart. Cash and Zane look exactly alike to me and I don't know who is who. The only reason that I know it's Cade is because he still has the small spot where the IV infiltrated and left a tiny scar. Other than that I'm lost. If you can't tell your kids apart, you are a bad parent.

So, there you go. I have a long way to go before I even get a passing grade on this whole father thing.

Now for some frequently asked questions:

Q: Are you getting enough rest?

A: That's funny. No.

Q: Do the boys sleep through the night?

A: Yes, they sleep very well through the night. We feel guilty when we have to get them up to feed them at 3:00 am. Doctor's orders. Hopefully we can move to every four hours in a month.

Q: How's Carrie?

A: Tired, but completely in her element. She handles it extremely well. I'm the one that is falling apart and can't tell them apart or remember who is who.

Okay...Photos.



This is my friend Monty Black with the boys and I. Monty and I have been friends for over twenty years. He showed up at the house Sunday morning and was wearing the exact same shirt I had on. I think it's because we share a brain.



This is Cade hanging out with his cool new shirt.




This is Cash. He is with the band apparently.




Here is another one with Cade wearing his Back Porch Mary gear, cause that's how he rolls.




Zane is wearing a cool skull and crossbones shirt. Skulls are a common theme amongst the trips this summer.



Apparently Cade is the STAR of this blog. Here he is smiling a bit. I would like to know why he spent Sunday afternoon screaming while Mom and Dad were trying to take a nap.



I'm pretty sure this is Cash. His mother is currently sleeping and I'm not waking her up to find out. I'm going to have to make them wear name tags. This is just embarrassing.



Finally, this is Tess. I don't have any trouble telling Tess apart from the boys. Tess is the Official Dog of Rolling For Trips and the Krug Family. She is swimming in a pond at the farm, retrieving a stick. She is extremely protective of her brothers. She likes to walk up to each bouncy seat and lick each boys head. Our friend Haley offered to wash her hands the other day before she held the boys and I was like, "You might want to wash the dog slobber off his head before you pick him up too." Dog Slobber. That's just how we roll around here.

I tried to get some video up, but YOU TUBE won't let me upload anything at the moment for some reason. I'll try later.

Carrie and I have the best life.

If we could just get a bit more sleep.

Soon, I'm going to ask her out on a date.

Wish me luck.

The Pace

Greetings from Baby Land. My last blog was some sort of Charles Bukowski stream of consciousness thing that looking back on was pretty fun to write and for the sake of a permanent record, I'm glad it exists. It's definitely in the moment. Today I have a bit more perspective. Maybe. Three infants in the house is a strange thing. It's like we've been invaded by aliens, except that the aliens are our offspring.

I realize that we never really made the announcement that they came home or how that went down exactly. Well, last Thursday night, Carrie and I went to the hospital to spend the night with the boys in a "transition" room. The boys slept in cribs in the room with us. They cried a lot and it was a pretty rough night. They had all just been circumcised, and they weren't really happy about that whole thing. We fed them every three hours as per usual, and then the next day we were allowed to check out and head home. We made the drive with the boys from Temple to Austin, and they really didn't make a sound during their very first car ride. It was also their very first breath of outside air. When we got home, we took them in the house and they met their dog. Their first dog visit went well. Tess feels personally responsible for their well being. They also saw their cats, their room, and their awesome closet.

Although we had planned on them coming home and we had talked about what it would be like when they did, we really had no idea what to expect. Then when they finally were home, and we had them here, we quickly realized one simple fact. Carrie and I came to the conclusion at about the same time. This conclusion was:

"OH MY GOD WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING."

Within an hour of them being home we asked each other questions like:

"Where do we put them? In their bouncy seats?"

"Do I hold him? Why is he yelling?"

"Do you think he wants his pacifier?"

"Is it too hot in here?"

"Is it too cold in here?"

Needless to say, it was a crazy day. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. We did know one thing for certain. We were going to keep them on their NICU schedule. Babies that are this size and premature apparently need to be fed every three hours. Their feeding times are as follows:

7:30 am
10:30 am
1:30 pm
4:30 pm
7:30 pm
10:30 pm
1:30 am
4:30 am

Repeat ad nauseum.

Here is how one typical feeding goes, at let's say 7:30 pm.

7:30 PM - Place first bottle in warm water.

7:31 PM - Change Baby - Cash is batting first right now.

7:35 PM - Start Feeding. Feedings can take a while. Sometimes they are
fast, other times they are painfully slow. Usually it takes around
30 minutes to feed them and make sure they have properly burped.

8:00 PM - Place bottle number two in warmer

8:31 PM - Change Baby 2 - Zane is up second these days

8:35 PM - Start Feeding. Now you have to be aware of baby number one and make sure he hasn't projectile vomited all over the place or just spit up
on himself.

9:00 PM - Change Baby 3 - Cade is last at the moment. He is usually asleep
when feeding time starts. Now you have two other babies to watch for
spit ups and other events.

9:30 PM - Finally all three babies are done. Now you get to log all the activity into the computer. This is to make sure that you know who got what and did what when. Then you clean and refill those bottles and put them in the refrigerator for the next feeding. We have bottles in constant rotation and a jug of formula to fill them up.

10:00 PM - You have 30 minutes to relax before it all starts over. You can kick back and do things like clean up the house, do laundry, eat while standing over the sink, try to remember how to do math, mix up some formula, or just sob uncontrollably.

Right now, this goes on around the clock. Someday we will get to move to every four hours and that will be like a vacation compared to now. The person that is hit the hardest is Carrie. She has an internal Mommy clock that wakes her up all the time. She doesn't get to eat much, and needless to say she doesn't sleep a whole lot. It's so brand new, that I don't think the shock has worn off. First of all, you marry me. That's a big leap of faith. Next, you have three Mini-Mikes to take care of 24 hours a day. Some people would rather face a firing squad.

To top it all off, on Saturday the Air Conditioner here at the Krug Ranch began to falter. Awesome news. It's August in Austin, Texas, and the forecast is for like 102 degrees for the next two months. Fortunately, my buddy Rich Henderson from Tulsa, Oklahoma walked me through exactly what to do to get it going again. Rich is an AC guy and is a great friend. After that, I decided to immediately add insulation to the attic to keep everything and everyone a lot cooler. Thanks to Joe Miller and Carrie's Mother Ethel for helping me on that one.

This whole thing may seem insane, and it is. However, we have so many good things going for us it's amazing. First of all, all the boy are healthy. They all passed their eye and hearing exams. They are all awesome. Second, they were put on a schedule by the NICU Nurses and that continues to be a life saver. Third, we have an unbelievable support system of friends and family who are willing to do anything for us. Finally, Carrie and I have each other. I knew I was quite fond of her, but through this experience I have discovered that I didn't know that it was possible to love another human being as much as I love my wife. Watching her be a Mom is just a really cool thing for me.

All this work may seem like a chore. However, I try to think of it in a different way. There is a limited number of bottles that I will get to feed my boys. There is a limited number of times that I will get to kiss their foreheads and put them in the same crib together. There is a finite amount of times that I will get to feel them squeeze my finger and watch them look around and discover the world they find themselves in. Every single bottle, every single look, and every single everything is a gift that I'm not sure what I did to deserve, but I'm very thankful that I get these moments.

Now for some photos.

Here are the boys with three of their nurses just before they were discharged.



I don't have the words to say how I feel about the NICU Nurses at this point. I'm working on it.

This is one of the boys laying around at home.



This is one of me playing some songs for them. They seem to like it. I look look really bad here, but who cares? Tess Dog is pumped too.



Here is one of Zane, Tess, and I. Zane is on the right.



Finally, we have the best picture ever...



Stay tuned. We will have a new video up soon.

Feedings

Warning: This blog was written under duress. We here at Rolling For Trips are not into complaining, and we have nothing but respect for all parents.


To the best of my recollection, I have never used a curse word here at Rolling For Trips. I made the decision very early on not to use any foul language. I arrived at this decision for several reasons, and the number one reason was this was to be a family oriented affair. After all, we here at the Krug Ranch were starting a family. What better time to change one's ways?

If you know me, you know that I cuss like a sailor. I cuss all the time. I enjoy it. I believe that as an artist, cursing may be my true medium. I can string together cuss words in a fashion that will make a drill sergeant blush. I don't know where I picked this up, but I did, and I like it.

Having said this, I believe that it is a testament to my dedication to Rolling For Trips that I have abstained from using any language that I or hopefully anyone else for that matter, would deem foul.

I have come up with a few choice phrases to describe what the last 48 hours have been like. Maybe it's 72 hours, I'm not sure. The days and nights run together like some cruel joke that you never get to hear the punch line to. Here are a few safe phrases that I have come up with to express myself and how I feel on Sunday Morning at 12:44 A.M.

Son of a Sea Biscuit.

Sweet Mary and Joseph.

Gosh Dang it Dag Nab It.

Oh My Heavens.

Oh My Word.

Heavens to Betsy.

Fiddle Sticks.

Fiddle Dee Dee.

Holy Smokes.

Shucks.

Golly.

Darn.

Dang.

Rama Lama Ding Dong.

Great Odin's Raven.

There is nothing on this earth that can prepare you for triplets in your home. We had triplets in the NICU and I have had plenty to say about the ups and downs of that. Triplets in your house is another thing entirely.

First of all, to everyone out there that has or has had one baby in their house at a time. I have this message for you.

Shut up. Shut up now. You are a tourist. It's Baby Lite. I'm sure one baby comes with challenges. Whatever. I don't want to hear about them.

To those people with Twins. Pretty much shut up there also. If you have a Mom and a Dad, each one can hold and take care of one baby. If you don't have two parents in your house, then I feel sorry for you. Sort of.

Three babies is not baby times three. It's baby cubed or baby times infinity. I'm not sure, but the energy they create seems to feed on itself creating a swirling vortex of baby despair that crushes down upon you.

All this, and we have good babies. They are on a schedule. They get fed every three hours. They get fed at 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30, and then you start over again. AM and PM don't matter. It just goes and goes.

Let me give you a rundown of how the 10:30 PM feeding just went.

My beautiful Wife Carrie has worn herself to a frazzle taking care of, and worrying about these kids. I had to literally make her go to bed at 9:30. This is after she made up all the bottles and set out all the clothes, bibs, blankets, and other things for me to use. She really was trying to make my life easier. I just wanted her to go to sleep. I did the 10:30 feeding last night pretty much without incident.

Anyhow, here is how it went down.

9:30 Carrie goes to Bed. Boys are in living room in their bouncy seats. Whomever invented the bouncy seat deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor. Anyhow, the boys are hanging out and I was playing them some "Dead Flowers" by the Rolling Stones on my acoustic guitar. They were digging it. So, Carrie goes to bed.

9:33 I figure I will stop playing the guitar so Carrie can sleep.

9:35 Cade starts screaming. I put his pacifier in his mouth and he is immediately cool.
Cash is fussing a little, but no big deal. Zane, for some strange reason is asleep and causing no problems at all. This is very unlike him.

9:48 Cade's pacifier keeps falling out of his mouth. He can't hold it in by himself, so I am constantly putting it back in his mouth and trying to calm him. I do this about four hundred times.

10:24 Okay, it's almost feeding time. Since Cash is now wide awake I decide to feed him first. Cade has been pretty quiet for the past ten minutes. I think he is asleep.

At this point I lose total track of time. I know that we are in the 10:30 feeding and I'm in Austin, Texas. Other than that I don't know much of anything. I put Cash's bottle in the warm water to heat it up and head into change his diaper. Because this is me, it's extremely dirty and I almost throw up. At this point Cade starts screaming at the top of his lungs. I finish putting Cash's pajamas on and carry him out to start feeding him. Cade is screaming really loud, so I try the pacifier thing with one hand while I feed Cash with the other. You gotta watch Cash close because he will stop breathing on you during feeds. He is on a heart rate monitor, and that thing is loud if it goes off. I'm feeding Cash, trying to quiet Cade and Cade will not cooperate. Finally, Cash's heart rate monitor starts going off. I let Cade scream while making sure Cash is cool. He is. I give him a break and put him in his bouncy seat. I grab Cade and put him in his crib and shut the door. Maybe he will calm down. I grab the baby monitor so I can hear him. I look down the baby monitor shows me the temperature in the baby room. It's 81. How is this possible? The baby monitor starts sounding some temperature alarm every 30 seconds. I have to keep it on to hear Cade, but the temperature alarm is driving me out of my mind. I continue to try and feed Cash. I eye Zane. He is a total wild card. He could start going crazy at any moment, and he is more fussy than the other two. The temperature in the baby room goes up another degree 82. What's going on? I feed Cash some more and try to burp him. He burps, so I sit him in his bouncy seat again. Something is up with Cade. He is usually cool. I rush in the baby room and think I'll change him and get him ready to feed. Wow. Big surprise. Really dirty diaper. No wonder he was mad. I change him and dress him in his pajamas. I put Cade on his boppy pillow or whatever you call it and I'm feeding him with one hand and giving Cash the rest of the food with the other hand. Cash finishes and I put him over my leg and pat his back trying to get him to burp again. I look at Zane. I'm astounded that he isn't yelling. I put Cash down and try to finish Cade. I pick him up and put him over my left shoulder. I head into the kitchen to warm up Zane's bottle. I drop the bottle in the warm water and head over to grab him. I take Cade and Zane into the baby room. Cade goes into his crib where he is chilling. I change Zane. No dirty diaper. Just wet. Cool. I take off his diaper. He pees high into the air. I throw the new diaper on top of his business and wait it out. I look at the baby monitor. Why is it saying it is so hot in the room? Oh, I get it. I'm an idiot. The baby monitor is right under the Red Sox lamp that I have on. It's literally heating up the baby monitor and making it think the room is hot. I get Zane dressed and put him in his crib for a second. I wrap Cash in his cool swaddling blanket and lay him down. He is so cool and calm that he is asleep in seconds. I do the same to Cade and he calms down. They love these swaddling blanket things. They are called sleep sacks or something. They are awesome and the boys love them. I go and grab Zane's bottle. It has a hole in it and has leaked everywhere. I grab a new bottle and check the fridge for formula, and remember that Carrie used the last of the bottle. I find a new one and crack the seal, refill the bottle, and then start to warm it. Zane is being cool He must sense that his old man is one step away from totally losing it. I feed Zane, burp him, wrap him in his sleep thing, and put him down to sleep. All the babies go to sleep. I grab Carrie's phone out of our bedroom so her alarm can't go off. I want that woman to sleep. I look at the clock 12:21.

It's now 1:25 and I have to go start the 1:30 feeding.

We will have cool videos and pictures later.

I just thought I would share.

I needed to vent.

As soon as I lay them down, I think about how much I love them and I can't imagine our lives without them.

Wish me better luck on this next feeding.